One thing that I discovered while doing this was that my “Seinfeld” tastes tilt toward 1995-1997 rather than more-heralded earlier “Seinfeld.” For me, its last season has been by far its leanest creatively (despite huge ratings), perhaps because as these characters have grown older, the emptiness of their lives and their commitment to trivia have become less tolerable and harder to justify. How could I have excluded George finding himself about to address a rally of neo-Nazis? A college reporter assuming Jerry and George are lovers? Jerry dating someone whose name rhymes with a female body part, and he has no clue? Jerry wearing that puffy pirate shirt on the “Today” program? Contraceptive-hoarding Elaine sleeping only with men who are “sponge-worthy”? George converting to Latvian Orthodoxy in hopes of keeping his girlfriend? George being chastised for urinating in the health club shower? Kramer taking a sperm test and worrying about the status of his “boys”? Kramer inventing a coffee table book that is not only about coffee tables but can be converted into one? Kramer creating a male bra he calls the “Bro”? Elaine’s clashing with that braless hussy Sue Ellen Mischke? Elaine sabotaged by a goofy rabbi who publicly blabs all the secrets she confides to him? George discovering the value of yada yada, and “antidentite” joining the show’s lexicon when Jerry believes his dentist friend converted to Judaism for the ethnic jokes? I haven’t finished writing this, and already I’m second-guessing myself. Many of those omitted just as easily could have made the list.
In compiling this list, most of the calls were so close that it came down to picking a crowd of finalists, then throwing up my hands in frustration and blindly pinning the tail on the donkey. But someone has to volunteer for these lousy jobs. Narrowing nine seasons of “Seinfeld” to a Top 10 is as easy as choosing favorite blades of grass in your lawn.
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